I know from experience, being the mother of an almost 6 year old daughter and a toddler son, that life can be challenging. While all our best efforts to enjoy the 18 summers with my kids can be a well-intentioned phrase, the truth is this - parenting is hard work, the hardest, and can oftentimes feel like we are just making it through the day or so deep in the trenches of this hard work that we forget to actually take a deep breath and ENJOY it. But my kids are growing and changing so much that even one day to the next feels like such a huge shift in how they communicate and interact with the world around them. Know this: time with your kids is a fleeting and precious thing. Keep these 9 reminders in your back pocket and use these phrases with your kids. They deserve to know they are loved, are precious and they matter.
1) "I love you" - No matter what. They should know your love for them is not limited by their misbehavior, your bad mood, or a bad day. They should still know they are loved and treasured and the bond of parent and child is a sacred thing.
2) "I like it when you....". Talk about positive aspects of their behavior. I thank my daughter for playing well with her baby brother, when she waits patiently in line, when she makes a new friend on the playground. Even my toddler gets praised for eating his meal, sharing his toy with big sister, or self-soothing at bedtime. Kids should hear praises out of your mouth as often, if not more, than they hear a discipline. They should know when they do the right thing and should be recognized for it.
3) "You make me happy". This makes them feel valuable. Value makes us feel safe and secure, which allows us a space to trust and form relationships.
4) "I'm proud of you" They need to hear they are doing a good job, even when it's hard or unnatural to them.
5) "You are special". Let your child know their uniqueness is a strength. Their special way of coloring a picture, adding a different twist to song lyrics or even the fearless way they dance. Tell them what makes they different is what makes they special to you.
6) "I trust you". Building a foundation of trust raises an honest person. When you trust your child they feel valued and worthy.
7) "I believe in you". Teach them how valuable they are. You believe they can read a full page in their book. That they can get all the math facts correct on their quiz. That they can ace their driving test. Your belief in your child can help them reach their full potential, and soar!
8) "I know you can do this!" Encourage them to never give up.
9) "I am grateful for you". Be specific. This can really make their day.
